Perception, feelings and emotions

Thanks to Heli for the link in her post on quality of connection. I think this was a very emotional talk by Dr Brown. Getting “A”s and perfection in the academia is praised as the perfect achievement of personal goals and academic success.  This sort of achievement seems to be very different from our real lives after “school” where we have to live in imperfection.  This reflects our lives with authenticity and that often leads to a crossing between worthiness and unworthiness amongst us as we “struggle” with life.
Shame, fear, unworthiness seem to be “natural” part of life, and an offspring of personal study, learning, career, family upbringing, parenting, and ageing.  I don’t think people would share these feelings openly in social networks, in fear of personal security being hacked or an over exposure of private life to the public.  These have long term implications – on personal academic studies, marriage, career and reputation in one’s life.

People likes to associate with others who could empathise their feelings and emotions, especially when they are in despair, in vulnerability.  Would such feelings of vulnerability be too hard to share in academia, in social networks, or in open connections?  Why?  That would be perceived by others as living without perfected emotional literacy, critical thinking, in confidence, competent at work, or in personal life.  People would only share academic success but not much on life “failures” because that could lead to shame and fear in his or her life.  Isn’t that the dilemma between academic success and personal life struggles (feeling weak and vulnerable)?

Why would people like Dr Brown feel vulnerable?  Have some of us felt that way in our life journey?

Why would we have to numb our emotions, feeling in face of adverse personal issues or circumstances?  Aren’t we all looking for an optimistic way of living?

Would this be a cultural “issue” or an international phenomena?  The “pretend” issue just reflect what many of us are facing – we are living in a society that is so complex, filled with complex issues, dilemmas, and emotions, and advertising memes that so often we could be both fascinated and overwhelmed with information, power and politics, and personal life struggles.

How would we deal with these in social networks? How would emotional education in our society – emotional control & intelligence help?

What strategies have you adapted to overcome those feelings of loneliness, imperfection and vulnerability?

5 thoughts on “Perception, feelings and emotions

  1. Hi John,
    I am very glad that you took this theme seriously. I consider this question of human vulnerability the most important one, everywhere.
    You had many good questions which cannot be answered simply and you know it.
    There must be cultural differences in solving this question: somewhere you must pretend and never show emotions in public, somewhere you can behave more openly. But I believe there is a level where we feel that Brene Brown speaks the truth: vulnerability is inside everyone. If you live near your own focus you can use this vulnerability and express yourself better than without it. I have always seen this happen in good literature, movies and so on. In psychology it means that research can’t control and predict, its must understand, use case studies, story telling. This has been my focus during all these studies but I feel how hard it is to express myself in English…

  2. Hi Heli,
    Yes, I agree with your heart felt feelings – and that vulnerability is inside everyone. Perhaps it is a matter of the degree of vulnerability amongst people, as people are getting “wiser” with more experience and learning from failures in life.
    You have expressed yourself fully and I greatly appreciate your precious sharing. You are accompanied with many of us in the networks, and I am interested in these topics on psychology.
    Happy New Year.
    John

  3. Pingback: Connection is why we’re here « Jenny Connected

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  5. Pingback: Courage and Story-telling « Tapping A Cracked Kettle

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